The rainy season has officially arrived on our shores. This leaves us with nothing left but to face the rain.
Over the past weeks, mornings have been filled with sunshine peeping through the pine trees and a chorus of sparrows fluttering to and fro. Afternoons are a rock concert of lightning, with it rain like there is no tomorrow.
With the rain come termites fluttering every night. These creatures are desperately banging on window screens to get to the light. They end up the next day a feast for the sparrows.
Tragic? Maybe. Nature is strange. The world keeps turning despite losses. It leaves us with the choice to dwell in grief or get up and move on.
Though the rain brings its bouts of sadness, it takes courage, patience, and awareness to still smile and to give thanks amid a storm.
You are more than your moods.
There are and will be days when you feel that people and the rest of the world throw you to the dogs. These are days you least expect a downpour and you end up soaked to the bone.
When I stepped into the office last Monday, I was greeted with a snarky remark as to why I was still with the company after voicing out how much I wanted to quit.
I may be too sensitive, but it was a MONDAY MORNING. My heart and mind refused to be there. And yet, there I was diligently reporting to the office and religiously giving 9 hours of my life to a company that considers me disposable.
That particular Monday affected my WHOLE morning. I refused to get up and talk to others except when necessary. Inconveniences vexed me. I was on edge and I felt like I needed a good cry.
Being controlled by the emotions of uncomfortable situations can destroy your whole day. That Monday morning was even brighter and sunnier than the rainy days prior. It was supposed to be a good day, the start of a sunnier week.
Sadly, we cannot control the things around us. People will say things that you may not like. People may act in ways that hurt you. The one thing we can control is how we act.
How I reacted that Monday morning made me realize that I am as petty as that person and her one snarky remark. I came to learn that you are just as good as how you react to the world around you. I reacted cold, wet, and unforgiving like a sudden downpour.
I have much to work on. Admitting it is the first step to push ourselves forward.
Patience is a virtue, it also is a fruit.
Two Saturdays ago, I lost my nerve. I am ashamed of how I reacted, but it was the spur of the moment. I was shocked.
My reaction was not commendable. It bore so much of my ego, self-preservation, pride. That is not who I want to be. I know I could have looked at the situation with more care and patience. But patience does not come in a snap. It is a fruit that grows from the waters of the rain.
I was taught that patience only comes from bearing love, then joy, then peace. You cannot be an ambassador of patience if you do not love those around you. You cannot have joy if you bear anger, resentment, and hate toward your neighbor. Forgiving, accepting, and loving people—flaws and all, can free your heart to immeasurable joy. With all this unlocked, only then can patience be truly achieved.
In the end, it all boils down to love and grows from there.
Even if the rain brings colder nights, wet shoes, and gloomy afternoons, it also brings afternoons of hot chocolate, warm fluffy blankets, and conversations under a shared umbrella with the one you love.
One minute: A blue sky and bright white clouds 
The Next: An overcast sky.
There are still benefits to closed doors. You can look forward to the rainbow after the rain. It just takes a little patience to wait for the sun to come peeping through the clouds and for other doors to open.
Like how a typhoon passes in a few days, one terrible moment would not last forever. Sometimes it is best to patiently wait for the storm to pass.
A smile can turn total havoc around.
I want to be someone who still knows how to laugh at myself and be thankful in my situations, even in the midst of a storm.
Self-pity ate my thoughts over the past years. I blamed the world except myself for the situations I was in. I looked at myself as a victim. How could I smile? How could I laugh at my predicaments? I was the victim. I was suffering.
This clouded thinking is comical, like some kid blaming the world for conspiring against him because it rained on his birthday. That was me. I felt like I deserved more from the world. Like I did not do anything outright horrendous to deserve such a terrible birthday. You get the picture.
I believed this lie. I was sad, angry, resentful, and unforgiving of those who slighted me.
This pushed me to act according to my stress, my moods, and my emotions. I snapped at people when I was tired and stressed. I shut myself from people and only worked in my corner (cubicle) of the office.
I further isolated myself with this lie as my team was the only one allowed to work from home through almost all of 2020. I was at home most of the year working alone while my officemates still gathered together, talked, laughed, and cast their bonds deeper into each other’s souls.
Side Note: Reporting back to the office was emotionally distressing (check out this article. Know that you are not alone with the anxiety of reporting back to the office ). I even skipped the 2020 year-end afternoon snack my officemates decided to prepare.
And despite starting 2021 with all these feelings, I finally decided that a downpour on my birthday is a chance for celebration indoors with my favorite book and a cup of hot coco, or possibly a nice picture blowing out candles under a majestic rainbow.
You can make the most of what you have and enjoy it. You could keep your head held high and reap the benefits of the downpour.
I wanted to be happy again. I decided to flush out all these terrible feelings. I decided to reach out to other people—I still pulled away from some. I am choosing to smile even when faced with stressful situations.
I am trying to be more conscious of my actions. I still get tired, I still get frustrated, and I still fall into bouts of moods. Ultimately, I want to defuse tension with more understanding and hopefully still get to smile and laugh when things seem to be going downhill.
Life is a moment in time. We should at least make the best out of it and play in the rain when we can.
Busyzi 