I binge-watched the series over the weekend or so and found myself lost in the universe of the Euphoria.
The life and choices of the characters hit close to home. It is a fact that our childhood affects us but then, we are always given choices in life.
The series is not for the weak-hearted. Consider yourself warned.
All the actors in the series were exceptional. Casting was spot on, cinematography drew you in, and the storytelling was riveting. After certain scenes that were a little too much, I still kept watching—drawn to the character arc of these high school girls (and a boy).
In my opinion, the tight thread of the story unraveled into quite a mess in the second season. But despite the sudden shift in the storyline from the previous season, I still watched all eight episodes of Season 2.
On top of that, Trigger Warnings should have been generously displayed for all audiences to see. Although this is a series about high school girls, I think it best fits someone like me in their mid-to-late twenties and older. The series touched on issues and topics that penetrate deep into the bone. Even at my age, I felt a form of despair or empathic depression at the end of the first season. So again, be careful if you do choose to watch the show.
Warning: Spoilers Ahead
From Rue to Jules, Maddie to Nate, and Cassie to Lexi, each character lived a life governed by their choices. At that time, these choices felt right.
“At some point, you have to make a choice about who you are and what you want”
-Rue, Euphoria
Given each character’s backstory, we get a glimpse into the reasoning behind the decisions of these unstable high schoolers.
For one, Cassie chases after the love and affection from a father who abandoned her and her family. She then clings on to the love of her significant others, even if she is treated terribly. On top of that, her alcoholic mother did not help with her self-worth and self-love.
This tragic story was the justification the creators gave for the ways Cassie acted. Take note, her younger sister Lexi lived in the same household. She was abandoned too and lived with an aloof, alcoholic mother. On top of that, she had to live under the shadow of her beautiful older sister.
Despite this background, Lexi turned out totally opposite to that of Cassie. She had no boyfriends, cared more about grades, and was not interested in flaunting her body to attract attention. I still love her Bob Ross costume for Halloween when almost everyone else was in scanty costumes.
Lexi may also feel empty from a household that lacked nurture and love, but she chose to deal with those issues differently. In the first season, she was an ever-reliable daughter/student. By the second season, all her trauma was put together in a Broadway-scale, award-winning school play. The play is a topic for another day.
These two sisters were faced with options to cope with the hand they were dealt. They individually choose how to react to what life threw at them. In the end, they lived totally different lives.
More than the hand the world has dealt us, we live and die by the choices we make.
Your decisions define how your life will turn out. Sometimes, these choices are greatly influenced by how your environment shaped and formed your thoughts and tendencies. And sometimes, you tend to choose what is easier and more convenient even if you know it is wrong.
Another example of how the past affects the way one deals with vital choices is in the life of our protagonist, Rue.
Rue was 16 years old when her father passed away. Her younger sister was probably 12 or 13 at that time, also a young woman fully aware of the loss of her father.
To cope with the loss and the innate pain of existence, Rue turned to substance abuse, starting with the pain medication her father was on. She chose to deal with the pain by finding an alternative, temporary, happier feeling or state of being.
Her younger sister, on the other hand, did not.
Indeed, Gia was in great despair. She lost her father too. Her mother may have probably even neglected this younger girl as she took the role of breadwinner for the family when her husband got sick. Gia was not living an easy life.
The show seemed to justify Rue’s substance abuse with these painful events in her life. The addiction may be out of Rue’s hands, but the situation stemmed from a choice. A choice from the tragic death of their father, a choice Gia faced too.
Makes me wonder if the older sisters always get more messed up.
There are situations I face today that I am not proud of. Issues only a few people are aware of act as thorns in my flesh. Most of these stem from a decision rooted in insecurity and immaturity.
I cannot deny that my childhood influenced some of my decisions and attitudes. Some un-addressed childhood bitterness has birthed in me sentiments about life I am trying to fix and understand today.
The same thing goes for bad decisions. I have made choices based on feelings or the lack of them growing up. Things I may not even remember. I chose these paths even if all signs pointed otherwise.
Today, I write this piece carrying the burden of bad choices. Decisions that still hold strong today (even if they are no longer in my control) weigh heavy in my heart. Similar to but nothing like Rue’s fall deeper and deeper into dependency.
Like I said in my previous post about decision-making, we have all made bad choices in the past. Learning and growing from them is what we are called to do in adulthood.
Making better choices is something you can learn. You can pick up better coping mechanisms. It is not impossible.
Rue can face her pain head-on and Cassie can learn to love and respect herself. There is still much room to grow.
For more tips to help you make decisions check this article from Psychology Today, entitled How to Mindfully Make Important Life Decisions. And this article from Vox about making better decisions.
If you want more perspective on childhood issues affecting your decision-making, read this article about maladaptive coping.
You are more than the decisions you have made in the past.
Busyzi 