Definitely not sitting in a castle and slow dancing with your true love’s kiss.
So the knight in shining armor saved you and is taking you away on his white horse, or you got up and left the burning tower on your own. What is next?
As the two of you or you (alone) walk toward the sunset, the narrator quips: “And They Lived Happily Ever After.” The screen fades to black, and animated letters dance on the screen: “The End,” a symphony fades in with a tune that seems to fill your heart with hope and beauty.
But then, after the sun sets, the moon and stars will rise, and the sun will peep through the horizon—an introduction to another day. The faceless voice of the narrator now feels like a warning more than a blessing. The narrator knew more than he let on and unassuming children in the age of fairytales grew up to disappointment.
I wish life was as simple as that, filled with adventure, innocence, and hope for a definite future. Sadly, life is filled with both the perks of a fairytale and the tears of a drama.
It is a choice to make the best out of both genres in the movie we call life. That is what I believe happily ever after looks like.
Life Goes On
After taking the reins of my life, the hard reality that life goes on slapped me into another galaxy.
Life goes on.
I realized how I live in the moment of what has to be done. Growing up, I learned to finish the semester, finish the grade, graduate from the course, and get a job.
I strived for goals set for me by the world. I put all my thoughts and emotions into it. But after I hit that checkpoint (no matter how many times I’ve died to get there), there is no time to really stop and celebrate. I must go on to the next point and the next. Life goes on.
Leaving my corporate job was a concrete goal I had over the past 5 years. I achieved the goal but now what? Society is telling me to get another stable job, but I refuse to go down the same path.
Now that I am free to define what is next for me, my heart and mind are in limbo.
There are days that I feel like I jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. On other days, I feel like I made the right decisions. The grass is greener, the world feels brighter, and there is hope.
Still, both days are filled with so much uncertainty.
I wonder if Cinderella had plans after getting away from her stepmom and stepsisters and marrying the prince. When she got her happily ever after, did she ever wonder about what’s next? Did she struggle to meet the demands of being the queen? Once she was on top of that, what was next for her? Rearing children? Then what?
Small Things
The world is huge. Marrying the rich and powerful prince feels secure on this corrupt planet.
With the internet and how seemingly easy it is to touch all the corners of the earth, we learn to hope for millions, popularity, and a certain lifestyle.
Cinderella had the best dress at the ball. Dancing in her arms was prince charming. Don’t we all strive for that prestige and attention, too?
Happily ever after may be a trophy you want in your arms, a reason for eyes on you. Your happiness people want for themselves.
In my life, it looks like those in perfect relationships, dream jobs, titles, and the money to have everything they want. The longer I look at those around me, the more hopeless I feel.
I have to be reminded that life is not about status and wealth. It’s in the bright yellow butterfly greeting me in the sunlight, my dog gently waking me up to get belly scratches, and the shooting stars in the middle of the night.
Giselle left a prince for the dirty streets of New York. She learned to dance with the rats and cockroaches. And that was her happily ever after.
Heavy and Light
I learned this phrase from an event I would love to attend and a movement I respect. It is a reminder of the reality of life, a reflection of how I feel.
There will be good days, and there will be bad days. One will always come with the other, a reminder that there is no permanence in the heavy like there is no permanence in the light.
We will never know what the next day will look like.
The princess may have walked into the sunset under clear skies, but that does not stop a tomorrow of thunderstorms and wet shoes.
To this day, I am learning to roll with the waves.
A surfer knows when to duck dive below the wave, wait out the next wave, paddle into position, and ride a wave to shore. If not, the surfer will wipe out along the way. And even as they fall, they knew how to do it right.
It amazes me how man has learned to take the powerful force of the ocean and create it into a sport and an art in its own right. For a man to look at waves that could potentially crush you and make that a part of life is a metaphor for the big waves we face in our lives. Even if it is 85 feet bigger than you—the Guinness World Record of tallest wave surfed.
As we wade through life’s challenges, we can learn to take on taller waves and safely make it to shore. We just have to learn to ride both the small and huge waves in life.
Riding through the heavy and the light in your life is an art form.
Maybe that is what happily ever after looks like. Not marriage and riding off into the sunset. But learning to float on the ups and downs of tomorrow.
Busyzi 