Bad work habits. Hello, my old friend. It has been a while. After more than half a decade, I desperately wanted to turn away. But then here I am.
“I haven’t been doing so well. How have you been doing?” I move closer to its reach and rest under its boughs.
As always, the shadowy arms of a self I was not proud of took me in. Temporary bliss wraps itself around me comfortably. Contentment masks a heart of dissatisfaction.
No denying it. There is a comfort in old habits and painful cycles—a comfort we learn to regret the longer we dwell in its embrace.
After a few months back on the hamster wheel of work, I began teetering on the edge of old work habits. Habits I regret picking up from the cut-throat world of finance. And attitudes that made people hate me and vice versa. Leaving my old job and all the habits from it felt like leaving behind an old empty husk of myself.
I did not want to be that person again.
So here are Five Bad Work Habits I am trying to fix:
1. Letting Anxiety Drive My Performance
One of the reasons I felt like I was not ready to get another job was that I was tired of being tired. I was tired of feeling obliged to a company or a boss.
But with all employment comes a boss and deadlines to chase.
So in my new job, the type-A personality in me wanted to perform. I did not want to be reprimanded by my boss or a client for messing anything up.
At first, I thought I was someone who liked to achieve high ratings and hit required goals. Drive was the reason for my overtime and dedication.
You could believe I had the drive to be the best on the team, win awards, and get promoted. Wanting to perfect tasks and going above and beyond are attributes of being a go-getting, driven team player.
But in reality, I worked hard because I did not want to put myself through shame. Every time I did a task, there was this paranoid feeling that something was missing and that a problem would blow up in my face. The fear made me dig my nails deep and work hard to ensure I did not mess up.
Add a new job, team, and new boss to the mix of anxiety, and I was a stressed-out newbie.
Looking back, I see how messed up my mindset on work has been. After years of working hard in my academics and work performance, I learned that it was not because I had a goal to get good grades or to get promoted. It was the fear of shame.
The anxiety of failure drives me to sleepless nights—not dreams and aspirations.
I did not want to look like a fool or a failure in front of anyone. Is this pride? I feel it is more self-preservation—given a past of bullies and very low self-esteem.
This article mentions how those with type-A personalities experience higher anxiety levels than the rest. This may be the case, or not.
School has seriously messed up my motivation and drive. I am learning to remind myself that I was only human.
There is an allowance to make mistakes. We are learning.
No one should expect you to be perfect and start off running. On another note, knowing your personal life goals and nurturing that drive could help save you from running after the endless demands of some employers.
2. The Pain of Stagnation: Glued to My Desk
Previous co-workers pointed out how I barely stood from my seat to take a break and engage in office chit-chat. I only did so when I had literally nothing on my plate—a rare Pokemon in the corporate world. Most of the time, I am glued to my seat, eyes stuck on the screen.
The past month has been rough, so I am back in the same situation. There were work days I woke up to back-to-back calls and pressing emails. I only get to head downstairs for a bite to eat by 12:30 pm. Sometimes even 1 pm. I thank the heavens I no longer have to suffer the early hours just to commute and sit in traffic.
I could literally roll out of bed and hop on a call.
With all hope, I believe I am still adjusting to my new job. The type-A personality is learning to play the heck out of this role. As I better learn to cope, I know I could find ways to get up more, eat on time and take proper breaks from the screen.
There are risks of being seated all day. This Yale Medicine article describes a few reasons sitting is not healthy for us.
In the long run, I am holding on to the hope that my weeks will not drain the life out of me as I adapt. I will have little dance breaks between work and still have the energy to work on my other projects at the end of the day.
I also look forward to eventually traveling as I work. We all need a reason to leave the house after a nine-to-five at home. Getting out and about was one of the main reasons I took this job anyway. I should max that out.
3. The Terrible Overclaiming Bias
Having several accounts on my plate means a lot is on the line. And yes, many are problematic, but that does not mean I hold the solution to these problems.
There is only so much one can do. Fixing all the problems is something you cannot do alone.
In the last three months, I realized most of my stress comes from bearing all the weight of these problems on my shoulders—when I do not have to. I find myself stressing over details that are out of my control.
Although tasked with a job in charge of general oversight, there are aspects I have no idea about as these fall under the discretion of other departments. But still, I rack my brain for futile solutions.
Sometimes, the pain of stress could remind us that we are a part of a team for a reason. And that proper delegation and communication could alleviate the problem you are trying to fix on your own.
In a team dynamic, there is a shared burden. If you are used to working alone, it may not be easy to let go of carrying (or think you are) all the weight of the problem. Help out as much as you can, nothing more. A mantra I am trying to adopt.
Thinking I could do more puts me in an overclaiming mindset that drains me and forces me to turn sore eyes toward teammates. For clarity, overclaiming is when you feel like you’re the only one working on your team and getting the job done. To address this, I am making sure I give members of my team a shout-out each week.
To learn a little more about this bad work habit, check out this The Cut article.
4. Spiraling in Complaints
I am learning to be thankful in all circumstances. Not easy when many things are banging at your door of patience, and the wood is wearing thin.
As an adult, work is not the only stressor I face. There are household responsibilities, relational responsibilities, and financial responsibilities that add to the mix daily. With everything, it is easy to start complaining.
Looking to my neighbor and beginning a self-pity party over the world’s injustices is easy, I could easily cast a disdainful eye on those born with a silver spoon—those who don’t have to worry about every detail I keep into account.
Complaining may help you feel like you’re in control as you spin the narrative into your own hands. I may feel good, but nothing comes out of it, only wasted breath and time.
Two months into my new role, I started commenting on small and big things. The frequency grew from a weekly inconvenience to a daily issue. I realized how complaints over what I feel are valid led to a critical mess that spiraled out of control.
I learned that vocalizing these issues causes me to dwell longer on them. Complaining pulls me down a negativity spiral. The longer I stayed on the problem, the more I needed to complain about it.
Instead of finding better solutions, I waste my breath to no avail. The problem stays the same. This is a reminder that small things can be forgiven and forgotten. And I should put my time and energy into ways I could improve my situation.
In the end, it is all about perspective. Learning to be grateful in all circumstances, even the hardest of times is a challenge— but one I am trying to live by.
If you are like me, this NBC article may also help you get out of this cycle.
5. Dissociation Through Social Media
As I place more burdens on myself than necessary, I find myself falling down cycles of self-soothing mechanisms that are not healthy and conducive to my goals.
I have been scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and even LinkedIn after work instead of writing. When I feel like I wasted my time on these platforms, I proceed to window shop online for another couple of hours.
Instead of working on things I care about after the workday, I try to dissociate from the burden of the day through the constant flood of screens and useless information. This research from the University of Washington explains how we dissociate with social media use.
In just a few months, I am back to the person I was in the corporate world. I may not be happy with where I am, so I distract myself from reality.
Deep inside, I may be questioning my choices. I decided to get another job and am unsure if I made the right decision. And instead of facing my dilemma head-on, I run to the flimsy arms of never-ending shorts on social media.
Another hiatus on screens may be needed to get me back on track.
It is good to recognize your bad work habits, understand them and see how you can save yourself from becoming a calloused shell, hardened by work and its demands.
Busyzi 