I send halfway check-ins to our clients for ongoing studies. My boss sends me halfway checks for projects on my plate as well.
And yet, I never thought of doing the same for myself outside the scope of work. We all have our own goals and timelines, so where I am may be different from anyone else’s, and that does not mean I am lagging behind (even if it feels like it sometimes).
Going through a short therapy session to understand the next step in my career, the therapist asked me to rate how far I am from my goal between 1 to 10 (one being the lowest and 10 being the highest). It was the first time I thought about personal hopes and dreams quantitatively (albeit on a subjective scale).
So here are a few questions we regularly ask in our halfway check-ins. These may help you sit and look back at the last 6 months and even breathe as you look forward to the rest of 2023:
1. How has Everything Been Going So Far?
6 months into the year, and instead of balancing life between work, things I love, responsibilities, and caring for my mind, soul, and body, I found myself standing on the edge of burnout and running on a work treadmill exhausted.
Although feeling less burnt out after running away from work for a week (check out the post here), I am still trying to get back into a working mood that does not crave Fridays and does not dread Mondays.
There are seasons of ease and seasons of pure stress with my position—which is now nearing its first anniversary.
For personal projects, some are still on hold since the beginning of the year. Other projects face sessions of pure drive, determination, and optimism and also times of incredible apathy. The latter pushes me down paralyzing spirals the more I decide not to show up.
The last 6 months have been tough. There were days when only nothingness and doubt seemed to prevail, which sometimes (looking back) overshadow the better days.
2. Are there things you would want to discuss with the team?
As an organization offering a service to big and small institutions, we always open the conversation for any items needing discussion. We do not wish to miss the chance to improve.
Although life is more dynamic and intricate than my job, life, too, goes wrong. Some days just do not fit the sequence, and there are moments when things are bound to fail.
But unlike a service provider, the Giver of Life or the universe (if you do not believe in a higher being) does not have a hotline ready to address and fix all our problems.
Even so, I believe there is an open hotline for our concerns. One that is not for the IT department to fix some bug in the website or not for some customer service agent to fulfill transactions, but a hotline where we express the issues that we hoped could be addressed, problems that need fixing, and release the frustrations that seem to pile up.
Caught in the woes of work and frustrations of life, we forget that these issues are a spec in the whole design of a vast universe that continues to move and expand.
Although our issues cannot magically heal themselves like Fix-it Felix’ hammer, there is a comfort in knowing that there is an outlet in nature, in the universe to let it all out. If everything got magically fixed, there would be no hero arch, no character development, and ultimately no peace and relief in a resolution.
3. How far are you from the target?
I feel I lost all progress to properly juggle work and life. Somewhere, somehow, I swept things that make me happier and the things that set my soul on fire under a rug to help catch up on work.
I started the year off slowly working toward this ideal work-life balance, but life hit hard. My burnout stemmed from a feeling that each step I took brought me 5 steps back. The further back I went, the lesser steps I took forward. I was discouraged.
But even in the slumps, there are days where the rhythm finds you when you show up. Sometimes you aren’t in the mood to read, but sometimes adjusting your goal of only 1 page a day can turn to 2 or 3. Then you find yourself in another chapter and finally finish the book.
If I were to quantify my progress over the past 6 months, I would fall under the trap of comparison. It is so easy to look at my canvas of ill-selected colors and see the air-brushed, fine strokes of the world and people around me.
We are not immune to such pain, such worldly need for affirmation and a sense of personal accomplishment in contrast to the rest.
This check-in can help you understand where you are now without factoring in the rest of the world around you. Your perfect is not the same as their perfect. Progress is different for everyone.
Unlike school and work, there is no longer a standardized grading system (you work KPIs, they don’t count). There is just you, your conscience, integrity, strengths, and those unique sparks keeping your soul alive.
4. Next Steps?
What next step is closest to you right now?
This a tough question dabbling into an elaborate game plan and a manager’s touch-base spiel.
Now is a good time to look at the steps you already took and to see which rock is the safest to step on as you cross through the next half of the river called 2023.
To make the task less daunting, we can just figure out the most immediate and most accessible step that is sitting right in front of us. There is no need to make wide leaps to hit the original goal set by a hopeful human at the beginning of the year, but you need to take a step.
Sometimes, seeing how little I have done makes me want to give up. After a week or two away, I find myself ready to get back on the horse.
Life is rough, and we miss steps and lose our way. If you need to stay down for a moment or wander in the forest to get your bearings, by all means. When you’re ready, you can pick up where you left off.
The easiest step for me is the simplest. Sleep early. It may be small, but I know it will impact so much more in my day.
To smaller steps in the months to come!
Busyzi 