Hamilton landed in the Philippines and closed their curtains on our shores for the last time on 26 November 2023. It’s been almost two months, and I am still sitting on the edge of my seat, pondering the next scene in my life. Have I thrown away my shot?
Waiting For It- Last Minute Plans
Since we didn’t have all that money to spare on the finale tickets, we watched them five days before they flew away to prepare for their shows in Singapore in 2024.
My sister and a childhood friend booked the tickets back in April 2023. When the day came, it felt like a dream slammed into your face.
We booked bus tickets too late, as the date felt farther than expected. Bus trips on Sunday night were fully booked. Our show was the following Tuesday evening, and we had no choice but to leave the City by Monday.
The plan was to arrive in Manila early Sunday night and explore the town. Monday was to work, explore more, meet an old friend, and chill before the day of the show. But the world had other plans.
As early as 6 am, we had to leave our homes on a Monday morning. Make our way through Monday morning rush hour and catch a 7 am bus to Manila.
Sadly, the traffic was terrible, and we missed it. Catching another bus a quarter before 8 AM, I had to work on the bus.
What Comes Next?
The next thing I knew, it was 11 AM. We were an hour away from our stop. No new emails came in when I was knocked out, and the next problem was booking a ride to our accommodation.
Arriving at the terminal, we lugged our bags down the bus and sat to wait for our cab. Which came faster than expected but arrived at the wrong pick-up point.
Thankfully, we arrived at our final destination safely, after some Manila traffic enforcer decided to pull us over for going through a one-way road (but for some reason, someone was ahead of us and another following behind us that the enforcer turned a blind eye to). Oh, how I hate Manila.
We stayed at our brother’s small condominium unit that hasn’t been regularly inhabited since he got married. It was empty of anything that would sustain us for the 2 and a half days we were there.
The job at large was to take stock of everything there and everything we needed. We tried to cut all costs as possible given all the expenses we already made for this show alone:
- Hamilton Tickets
- Bus Tickets to and from Manila
- Taxi fares from the bus terminal to the condominium unit, to the location of the play, and back
- FOOD (the most important—aside from the ticket)
The play was exciting in and of itself, and we were ready to cut some edges to make the show memorable and worth it.
Gladly, we didn’t have to do anything more. Watching Hamilton live was anything more than memorable.
The Room Where It Happens- A Gala Show
I have been listening to the album of this play since 2018. I was late to the party, but being on the other side of the world, without any idea what this play looks like, I found it hard to catch on.
I was also not on social media in any way, and rap was not a genre I leaned into naturally.
Thanks to the rabbit hole of Dear Evan Hanssen, I found Hamilton. First enamored by the songs The Story of Tonight and Dear Theodosia, I binged through the soundtrack and only had the smallest idea of how this would play out on stage. I had no idea what these characters looked like, what their stage looked like, and what the dance numbers were, but still, I was thoroughly drawn to the desperation of each character.
A desperation spilled like blood all over the stage that Tuesday evening—so strong you can smell it and feel it in the roar of applause after each act.
There was no denying the talent of these actors, the range of their vocals, and the precision and expertise of the dancers.
Tears and blood were shed that night, and every night they stood on stage since September 17, and I am grateful for their art.
Do Not Throw Away Your Shot
These were people who refused to throw away their shot. Worked hard to be where they are—on that stage as they deserved. And I admire them and am filled with exhilaration for what the world has in store for them. They deserve the world.
Seeing them climb up the ladder of fame in a field their heart pounded for, and their voices rose to, I wondered whether I threw away my shot.
Sometimes, I think all my life’s choices have been taken from me. Decided for me and stolen. Looking at all the times the earth has revolved around the sun since I was born, I believe I am too old to make something more of the life I have left.
There are days when I feel like the world has nothing else to offer than my 9 to 5. Doom scrolling to escape the grind and occasional rendezvous out of town or beyond it. Is this it? Or am I throwing my shot further down the drain?
Sometimes, I feel like I have found meaning in this mundane world. Other days, I feel like I am just going through the motions of what life throws at me, and that makes me feel more like Aaron Burr waiting on the wings of what life could offer him instead of grabbing the bull by the horns.
And sometimes, that is the easier path. But that may mean there is nothing that I stand for.
What do I stand for and fight for? I guess, that is the question. Am I only off to make a comfortable life for myself, my family, and these pets that the universe decided to bestow on me?
Is that it?
What do I care about? What am I passionate about? What should I be fighting for… What if the things I care about don’t care about me? What if the things I am passionate about regard me with disdain—a talentless, useless individual, a goldfish trying to climb a tree?
The gospel’s call is that great army we are all asked to take a part of, but is that it? Not to some Christian authors, no. We are not asked to be stripped of our personhood as we heed this calling. But what does this skinny, lump of bone and flesh have to fight for and live for in the light of the revolving world around her?
I am a voice that sounds in the night to no listening ears.
A failure yet to collapse upon myself. Maybe, my shot was thrown away long before I knew I had one, does that mean I do not have a new one today?
Busyzi 